You Want Fries With That?

When I was a pup, I dreamed of the day I could order the LARGE fries at McD's. My dad always got a large, while us kids had to share a small. The little white bag seemed wanting, compared to the mighty red cardboard carton.

One day the day came. "I'll take a large fry." I felt like the king of the world. I went around, flexing my large fry muscles, procurring the big box o' lard whenever I could.

As I aged, I realized that one should curtail the amount of deep fried tubers, so I reverted to the small. To my surprise, the coveted red box appeared. Excuse me, man with the paper hat - this is a large fry.

"No, that is a small."

"OK, if the red carton is a small, what is a large?" I was promptly shown an even larger red carton. Wow.

"What do I order if I want the small white bag of fries?"

"Bag of fries." Seemed simple enough. So I did, and I was happy. Until the day came when the bag of fries existed no longer. It became the child's fries. Large was small, Extra large was large, and Supersize was...well, it was supersize.

I continue to be perplexed by the ever changing dynamic that is the McD's french fry. And now I hear they're doing away with the supersize. Nacho Supreme is looking more my pace. Unless Supreme is going to mean regular. Then I'm just screwed.